We definitely wouldn’t have pegged Miley Cyrus as an overthinker, especially when it comes to hair choices. Which is what makes the mini Facebook rant she just had about her hair somewhat shocking. In it, she recalls how about two months ago, she’d been sitting around bored during some downtime while filming with Woody Allen when she decided to bleach her “natural healthy a$$ hair” using a DIY kit. “Sitting in a random apartment with nothing to do but smoke weed (which I should’ve just appreciated) and f–k with my hair obvi, something inside told me I’d regret it,” she writes, posting a photo of her current pale hair with dark roots growing in.
Of course that’s exactly what happened, and now the singer says she’s missing her God-given color, which we presume is this but have rarely glimpsed due to her affinity for statement hairpieces and dramatic color shifts (remember her “blue hurrr” phase?). “[This] hair color comes in a box … therefore it’s available to purchase and what grows from my scalp naturally is mine and only mine!!!” she writes. “Now I’m out here looking like every Suzy Q & Sally B there is…. Either this sh-t needs to grow out at super speed or I’m about to go in for a fu–en hair cut realllllll quick!!!”
Interesting. Reading between the lines, we can’t help but wonder whether these emotions were stirred by the sudden popularity of bleached hair on the red carpet—Taylor Swift, Kristen Stewart, and Jennifer Lawrence are all working the almost-white thing in a high-profile way right now. Cyrus was way ahead of the trend, bleaching her hair before the 2012 VMAs. These days, the color doesn’t have quite that same impact.
Of course, bleaching hair at home as an amateur can be super damaging, so that could also be part of why Cyrus is not digging the look this time around. We do know she got some professional help soon after the bleach sesh, per this Instagram from hairstylist Chris McMillan. He added some bangs for a “Swedish porn star” vibe.
Cyrus quickly expressed regret about the bangs, too. And by the end of her looong Facebook hair rant, she moves on to a different regret: wasting so much time regretting her most recent hair choices. “If you ever start overthinking sh-t especially something as silly as hair…. go outside, smell a flower, center your thoughts and find something productive to do with your time,” Cyrus writes. “I wish I would’ve taken a toke of my own medicine…. Everything is a learning experience…. Even hair LOL.” Hey, she’s got a point.
Go read the whole post for yourself; there’s so much to unpack. But our main take-away is this: When weighing the choice to smoke pot or bleach our own hair, always choose the former. Totally just kidding. (Swear.)
Watch Cipriana Quann on Embracing Your Imperfections: